The Waiting Room 

20 Jul

Good morning Lovelies and happy Monday! 

I woke up this morning anxious because today is the day I meet with my surgeon for a consultation. A one hour drive to commute 27 miles away added to my anxiety. (I was recently in an accident and a sea of brake lights produce intense fear in me-sorry for those that drive with me in the passenger seat – that’s when it intensifies.) 

Anyway, here I am sitting down at the Ortho. There are 13 other patients waiting to be seen. The kiddo in front of me has an American flag cast on. His mother is taking a “before” picture of him saying this could be the day you get your cast off! The little boy’s eyes radiate as he giggles with exuberance “cheeeeeeeese!” The poor little guy is 5 years old with a cast on during the summer. He fell off a slide at the playground and was met with a gnarly compound fracture. Oww! He’s been in a non-waterproof cast for 8 weeks – talk about anxiousness. He’s ready to get that sucker off and play in the water, climb the monkey bars and do what 5 year olds do! 

There are other people here who’s faces appear fixed in pain. Pain is an amazing thing – it has incredible depth both physically and emotionally. It decorates our facial expressions by contorting our features. I know the looks – the tight lips, twitch or tightening of the muscles around the eye, the furrowing between the eyebrows, maybe a nose wrinkle…this place should be an exhibit for studying human behavior and pain. I hope they all get to feeling better soon. I want their eyes to sparkle with good news and relief like that of the daredevil getting his cast off today.

In my case, I’m in pain, yes, but it’s dull. I’m actually eager to hear what my options are. I recognize I may be uncomfortable today, and extremely uncomfortable post-surgery if it is a must, but it’s a step toward healing. Being told that I can’t run is not an option.

Healing – it seems to be the theme of 2015.

How can something I love fill me with so much suffering, anguish and heartache? It sounds parallel to life doesn’t it? I’m learning that what you love isn’t always good for you. Is pain an accomplice disguised as a hobby, a friend, a lover…etc.? Is this a wake-up call and I keep hitting snooze?

The doctor’s walking in…A sense of familiar and unwanted anxiety is filling my chest.How do you handle pain? Are you as stubborn and relentless as me and run through it? Or do you listen to your body and let it heal? Do tell! I’m searching for the balance.

Stay tuned!






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