Get A Hobby

16 Jan

Hello friends,

I was always inspired to do great things.

Great things for others.

I was on a journey to make everyone happy. I thought that would make me happy.

I adapted to each situation to fit the mold.

I exchanged pleasantries and laughed when cued to. I remember smiling while I clutched the arms of whomever and silently watched their insipid display believed to be a battle of wits with another show-off.

I was so focused on being pleasant I lost my voice. I became the dull one.

I didn’t like it. I wasn’t being true to myself and it created a fundamental clash against none other… Me.

I was always uncomfortable in my own skin because I didn’t know how to live in it.

I looked for people to energize me even if they were boring. I was looking for someone or something in everyone.

I had to have constant company. I believed it would settle me.

I was that girlfriend who called umpteen times a day because you didn’t answer.

I called you to say “hi.”

I called to say “I just tripped on nothing!”

I called.

I called for no reason.

I was that needy girl.

I thought I needed to be energized by people and crowds. I was always calling someone.

Then one day I called one too many times and broke someone’s patience.

The other voice spoke in a distracted, annoyed, and firm tone, “You need to get a hobby.”

I was silent. Dead silent. What a blow to my ego.


Total humiliation.

I hung up probably without saying a word. I engaged the, I will show you-attitude, and propelled that sucker full speed ahead.

“Get a hobby!”

Years later I realize that was a pivotal moment in my relationship with myself.

I am thankful for the candor.

I felt incredibly alone for a while why I tried to lessen my need for people. I explored nature. Took up hiking, recreational tennis, jogging-only jogging. I started to write more. I wrote a lot. I would crumble the paper and toss it when I was done. Never reading it again. [hmmm, now I post to the Internet. Shit! It’s around forever!]

I learned to like my own company.

Jogging miraculously turned into running.

Running turned into MY HOBBY.

I am reminded every single day to “Get a hobby.” I chuckle because who knew the hobby would be how I discovered and continue to discover myself.

Running gives me focus. It forces me to let the chaos of external elements remain external.

You can’t cherry pick happiness. I used to try. I was always reaching to please others. I now know that you should never allow your happiness for someone else overshadow your own for yourself. (-M.B)

Running has taught me to never let fear decide your future! Struggle doesn’t come to stay, it comes to pass! (-M.B. Thank you!)

Running helps me be comfortable in my own skin. Major win!

I internalize more now than ever before. I will still smile while I clutch someone’s arm, but I am happy because I am not reasoned to be a wallflower and I also don’t feel the need to speak.

I find solace in being silent. (Or humor)

If someone wants to peacock in an attempt to impress me by featuring their quick-wits, I observe and silently crack jokes at their expense. You know, a man trying to impress you with his verbal snobbery and prowess, dressed to the nines with casual wingtip shoes, and not one hair out of place, without a woman on his side because every woman knows better than to be with a self-righteous, I take longer than you to get ready kind of man… Yes, this guy. I enjoy him for entertainment value only but I am not impressed.

What impresses me is if you have blisters on your feet from pounding 15 miles of pavement in the dead of summer. If you’re training for an Ironman. If you’re building up to race a century ride! What impresses me is your ability to articulate yourself in a manner that isn’t so assuming on or off the track. What impresses me is your ability to sweat and join me in knocking a few back.

Sure I love and I am impressed with a challenging and intellectual conversation, but I also revel in dirty humor and last nights South Park episode (if I didn’t fall asleep). I’m learning, through my hobby, you can have both in life – like a run, it can be challenging or humorous.

My hobby taught me to let go of what I can’t control. It has taught me that there is a time and a place to enjoy the company of others and when not to. I love the when not to because I love my hobby – it allows me to restore myself while being alone. I’m unapologetic for it.

Most mistake me for an extrovert but I flirt more with being an introvert. I am energized by being alone. Alone on the trails or with my nose in a book.

In a way, those words, “Get a hobby”, resonated in my soul. It’s been the best gift. Three little words wrapped into one idea – a tantalizing and inspiring source that acts like a muse through my colorful journey of running and my life between the miles.

So friends, get a hobby! -best advice ever!

Thanks for stopping by and happy running!




4 Responses to “Get A Hobby”

  1. FLRunnerBoy January 16, 2015 at 5:16 pm #

    Absolutely powerful and amazing post Valerie!!! LOVE,LOVE, LOVE!!! I so glad you “got a hobby”. Looks like it has turned you into amazing person that has found herself through that hobby and is continuing to grow. And yes, yes, yes we pavement pounders and blister wearers are quite an awesome bunch aren’t we 😉 Again I totally love your post! Nicely written, great writing skills chica!!! 🙂

    • valerietoth January 17, 2015 at 12:41 am #

      I sooo soooooooo soooooooooooo love your feedback! Thank you for continuing to motivate me to write just by stopping by and leaving me a lovely note as such! You are right, we are a crazy bunch of people who love the sweat life! What races are on tour agenda this year?

      Thanks again for the feedback! Happy running!

      • FLRunnerBoy January 17, 2015 at 4:54 pm #

        You are more than welcome Valerie! On tap for me is a 5K which I ran this morning, recap to soon foklow, an 8K next month, and a half marathon in March. I used today’s 5K as basically a training run because I have been having lots of tightness in my right glute and hamstring the past few weeks that I’m trying to work through. How about you?? What’s your schedule look like? My schedule usually wraps up around May since Florida summers can be quite painful. Again, amazing post, love your writing style 🙂

  2. valerietoth January 21, 2015 at 2:38 pm #

    Lee, thank you for your fabulous feedback! It sounds like you have a busy few months 🙂 how exciting! Having races lined up helps to motivate me to train. What are you aiming for time wise for your 5K, 8k, and half marathon? Tightness in the glute and hammy are no fun. Are you rolling them out? The cold weather really aggravates my right knee and hip. It is as if they lock up and it feels like bones rubbing agaisnt bones. I hope you feel better sooner than later so you can crush your 5k! As far as my schedule, I have a full in March, a 10k in May, and I emtered the lottery for the NYC marathon-they draw on March 3rd so I am patiently waiting! I was in Florida recently and I loved it! I loved the humidity in comparison to the AZ dry heat. It was hard to run through the thick moisture but I did love the good sweat session!

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